#3 - Please, don't use cybersec tools. Your antivirus is fine (pinky promise)

It was so much better in the good ol’ times -

I could make just a little, tiny change in the code, and my malware was once more antivirus-friendly and spreading like wildfire. Now it just lands in malware analysis and stays there with millions of other failed attack attempts. All these intelligent cybersecurity inspections stop me even when I tinker with the code! Annoying stuff, I’m telling you.

But there’s still hope,

because folks out there still think that cybersecurity is so complicated, and what’s worse - expensive! You have to buy some new devices on top of all the technology you already have. And then probably look for additional people to manage it. That cuts into the budget - no more of these sweet, sweet little treats from the fancy bakery round the corner.

So, basically, people don’t like cybersecurity

and I totally approve. They’re absolutely right, it’s so complicated... to hack through all those layers upon layers of security and it's so grueling to break through each of them. Brute force? Forget it. And what's worse? I get caught in one of the layers, and poof! there goes my attack. And I need to start from scratch. It's totally like Dark Souls, if you catch my drift. And with antivirus, it's more like Farmville. Fun and hacker-friendly.

And I always say,

why spend horrendous amounts of money when you can have antivirus? Some of them are even free! And you know... free means created by passionate people in their free time (so it's totally reliable). Wonderful, isn't it? You (or your boss) will be pleased with additional savings and you'll help feed and educate children. How? Well hackers have families too, you know? It's so lovely of you to support us!

Back to cybersec, tho.

You sometimes feel that you should get round to it, look through all the cybersecurity whatnot on offer, check the companies, compare their offers. And let me tell you, there's like 14000+ cybersecurity companies out there. Just sayin', good luck with finding "the one". Prepare for some long, long, sleepless nights - just a friendly warning. Not fun, eh? I totally get it, so really you should just stay with your antivirus. After all it's been the best protection against viruses for two decades - that's got to count for something (even though it was in the previous century, but that's just details).

And it's easy to install. Just go to their website, click download, then install this little boy, and ta da! You can't imagine the amount of destruction I can bring to your system running antivirus.

But, no worries, antivirus is great for security... I swear, hacker’s honour!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You really don’t want a next memoir to be about you.

Talk to us and forget about hackers.

Security first.